Mock Editorial: The Grains of Wrath

It was inevitable. The rice problem that once loomed large has now arrived, no thanks to the decision to completely import grain from other countries rather than focus on allocating land for planting. It seems food security is not the top priority for this bogus government. Countries like Thailand and Vietnam– who in an ironic twist once sent their scholars to study in UP Los Baños, and are now two of the countries we import rice from — seem to be handling the global rice crisis very well, and are keeping their people well-fed.

 

So now the question that begs to be asked is this: How to stave off hunger?

 

How indeed? How when even tapsilog stands charge an extra five pesos because of the rising price of rice? How when carenderias and restaurants are forced to serve substandard rice? How when all we read in the newspapers and see on TV are hungry folk in long queues trying to get their hands at cheap NFA rice?

 

Simple: Eat pizza instead!

 

Sadly, this is easier said than done.

 

Like throwing cake to the hungry, as if to mock the riceless populace, the fragrant smell of pepperoni, cheese, and onions wafted through the air. As if to rub salt on wound, the silent scream of “Eat me! For heaven’s sake, eat me now!” cut through the air, from only an office divider away.

 

Alas, like hooligan hoarders who stock sackfuls of grain in hidden warehouses across the country, like a corrupt Pharaoh from ancient Egypt who only opens the granaries to the hungry after he has emptied and ravaged them, the “Queen” has made sure that her precious pizza would only be available to the privileged few.

 

Not even a trickle (or in this case, a single slice) for the masses who toil day in and day out at their workstations.

 

The utter travesty of it all.

 

Now we finally see the shortsightedness of believing that pizza can serve as balm or salve for wound in this rice-starved nation (office).

 

What’s worse is that the people won’t take this sitting down. The people need grain (or pizza). And fast. Or else the government would have to face the people’s wrath.

 

So now we get to the second question that also begs to be asked: Will we see an improvement in the days, weeks, or even months to come?

 

Not really.